Treat You Better

I sat on my bed after trying to relax in the bathtub. Several days of terrible sleep, aches in my hip, knees, and ankles told me that I probably needed to eat a slice of humble pie and start using the shoe inserts that my husband got my for Christmas. I drug my eyes up to look at my reflection. A good hard look.

I asked my body, "Why aren't you giving me what I want?" I felt down about how little progress was showing. I was working out more consistently than I ever had since Paxton was born. I was eating better, and smaller portions often. And yet, staring back at me, I was frustrated. For all my efforts my clothes seemed unforgiving, along with the scale.

I kept looking.

And then, my body replied with it's own question... "Why aren't you giving me what I want?" A wave of emotion swept over me as all the ways I was discrediting my body filled me. All the amazing things my body could do and I was so focused on the one thing it wasn't doing. I stepped back and wondered if this was in the context of a workplace scenario if I wouldn't be asking the same questions to my boss. "What do you mean, 'not giving you what you want?'" "Isn't it enough that I'm keeping this business organized? I'm making sure all the vital areas continue functioning! I pay the bills so the lights don't get shut off. I regulate and distribute payroll fairly. I plan and provide enrichment activities for the employees. What else can I give you?"

Tears.

I was overwhelmed realizing that my body is doing everything I need it to. My brain keeps me organized so I can complete all of my tasks, even through all my ups and downs of nutrition. Blood delivers organs vital nutrients so my body can perform the tasks I enjoy like shopping, reading, and spending time with Paxton. I am able to run and play, but all this possibility gets overshadowed by the small task that lies undone. Miserable because the  numbers on the scale and on the tags of my clothes aren't what I think they should be.


Health is important, and I hope to get the baby weight off eventually, but looking in the mirror-- realizing how forgiving my body has been with me, I truly realize that there's more to life. In the waves of anxiety that now plagues me, I haven't given credit where it was due. I tried to think of the last time I praised my body. This body. Not a former version of it, but the one I currently live in?



So what can my body do?
It bore a child. It lifts that child and carries him daily.


It hugs those in need. It receives love, and is open to help to comfort me through heartbreaks.


It keeps ahead of my anxiety and sends signals before I crash.


It wears clothes! Clothes wouldn't be great if no one ever wore them.


It houses my spirit and all the essences of who I am. This body is great.
Our bodies deserve better.


For our health. For our families. For our children. For ourselves.

Looking forward to that illustrious day when happiness will radiate in our being fully with everything perfectly in place is the journey not the destination. My favorite quote wraps up this post in what should be the goal each and every day of life. Thanks for reading...

Slow & Steady

There is that fantastic, timeless phrase that says, "slow and steady wins the race". There was so much about that I didn't understand for most of my life. In my opinion it always seemed like there was a huge perk to moving fast and getting ahead. However, as of late I've realized that I find much more value in taking is slower. A day is going to pass whether I'm ready for tomorrow or not. Rushing through it is not the way to do it. There are things that must happen--work, school, etc. Some things can't be avoided and they make the time fly by. Seeking to reach for the fast forward button isn't all it's cracked up to be... as Adam Sandler so clearly taught society in his mid-2000s movie, "Click".


https://www.pinterest.com/pin/174303448054518734/

Recently in my life things have been... shall we say changing. I find myself on a new adventure almost daily. It keeps me on my toes and looking forward to each and every hour instead of seeking for that next top moment in life.

Good people, slow and steady wins the race. I can't say that I have the formula for this because I don't. What I can say was that for me the formula went something like...

(submission to God's will X attitude adjustment + platonic support) / Faith + Ben= a much sane-er Katie Leigh

Maybe sane isn't the appropriate state to say I'm in... I've definitely got some stars in my eyes at this point... however, I think reality is a much better place to reside and I'm hopeful it's going to stay that way.

Slow down... you might miss the best things.

Love,
Kate

(https://www.pinterest.com/pin/174303448054490197/)

Red Wheelbarrow

Cracking the spine on a new book is one of the most satisfying things in this world to me. I love words! I could exist in them all day and be entirely happy with their company; never feeling lonely. I have had this pleasure recently. I've begun another adventure! This time adventure is spelled b-o-o-k. I truly believe that books are the vacation that we can take when we can't go anywhere. It's a mental vacation and, if it's a really good read, it can be a spiritual and emotion vacation as well. Yesterday I started, "A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman" by Joan Anderson. I haven't gotten very far in, but I know I'm going to adore it. How? Aside from having the most beautiful dedication page I've ever read, after the acknowledgments it reads a beautiful excerpt from William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar (cited below)...

There is a tide in the affairs of men, 
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we no afloat;
And we must take the current when it serves, 
Or lose our ventures.

Chapter one begins with another thought evoking quote from Rainer Maria Rilke. You see... before we're even getting into the meat of the story (which is certainly closer to a memoir or narrative than a novel; nevertheless and not-withstanding...) I am thinking and reflective. Immediately the words on the next pages will penetrate deeper into my soul. ... Am I taking this too far? Am I dragging too deeply into this book? It is entirely possible and absolutely probable, but I love words. Truly. A simple change in phrasing can change the entire implication of a whole thought. A misplaced comma, or switching out just one word alters entirely the emotion that will be drawn from a moment.

Today my adventure was spelled b-o-o-k because yesterday it was written d-a-n-c-e! There was a small monsoon that happened here, no big deal. Dallas, that's my car, and I went to my favorite spot. The thinking spot. The place I go when I've got too much going on inside my brain, which happens a lot, and I need to decompress. During the beautiful drive over there the rain began to pelt onto the windshield. To anyone else this might seem like a negative thing impacting the drive. However... if you've read my previous posts, you know that's not true. I stood in the rain. On October 22 I stood in the rain and it was awesome. The cold drops ran over my face and down my arms. My fingers turned a bit more pale than usual and my jeans soaked completely through. I walked around a few blocks and wondered how crazy I must have looked to everyone else. I watched a few ladies run between shops. There was a white SUV of 4 ladies and 2 dogs that were all trying to get organized without getting too wet. Watching everyone else run around like chickens with their heads cut off was amusing and I wished for a moment I could have gotten in their heads to see what their perception of me was.

I finally took the time to watch a few more movies since I've been home. I watched Belle, Fast & Furious 6, & the Fault in Our Stars. One of them made me cry, another made me feel an increase of patriotism, and the last made me laugh and strap myself in. You can match the experiences to the movies. There's a few more movies on my list, but I think those 3 are worth watching, thus they are mentioned... :)

I'll be off to begin planning a lesson for a class of small children for Sunday. But, a few more words before I leave you...


(https://www.google.com/search?q=Red+Wheelbarrow&rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS487US487&espv=2&biw=1093&bih=514&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=9chJVNzfHoaSyQTEm4CQDQ&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=S6FbbkL_WjAJAM%253A%3B5KQSBHY9rO0tcM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F4.bp.blogspot.com%252F-sbWLZQxNXVg%252FUZWRnrn-PJI%252FAAAAAAAAAEs%252F0D2VDJKYslk%252Fs1600%252FScreen%252Bshot%252B2013-05-17%252Bat%252B2.04.43%252BPM.png%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F8bshs.blogspot.com%252F2013%252F05%252Fthe-red-wheelbarrow.html%3B548%3B391)

...wow that was a long embed...

(http://www.pinterest.com/pin/174303448053619233/)

Love,
Kate <3