I asked my body, "Why aren't you giving me what I want?" I felt down about how little progress was showing. I was working out more consistently than I ever had since Paxton was born. I was eating better, and smaller portions often. And yet, staring back at me, I was frustrated. For all my efforts my clothes seemed unforgiving, along with the scale.
I kept looking.
And then, my body replied with it's own question... "Why aren't you giving me what I want?" A wave of emotion swept over me as all the ways I was discrediting my body filled me. All the amazing things my body could do and I was so focused on the one thing it wasn't doing. I stepped back and wondered if this was in the context of a workplace scenario if I wouldn't be asking the same questions to my boss. "What do you mean, 'not giving you what you want?'" "Isn't it enough that I'm keeping this business organized? I'm making sure all the vital areas continue functioning! I pay the bills so the lights don't get shut off. I regulate and distribute payroll fairly. I plan and provide enrichment activities for the employees. What else can I give you?"
Tears.
I was overwhelmed realizing that my body is doing everything I need it to. My brain keeps me organized so I can complete all of my tasks, even through all my ups and downs of nutrition. Blood delivers organs vital nutrients so my body can perform the tasks I enjoy like shopping, reading, and spending time with Paxton. I am able to run and play, but all this possibility gets overshadowed by the small task that lies undone. Miserable because the numbers on the scale and on the tags of my clothes aren't what I think they should be.
Health is important, and I hope to get the baby weight off eventually, but looking in the mirror-- realizing how forgiving my body has been with me, I truly realize that there's more to life. In the waves of anxiety that now plagues me, I haven't given credit where it was due. I tried to think of the last time I praised my body. This body. Not a former version of it, but the one I currently live in?
So what can my body do?
It bore a child. It lifts that child and carries him daily.
It hugs those in need. It receives love, and is open to help to comfort me through heartbreaks.
It keeps ahead of my anxiety and sends signals before I crash.
It wears clothes! Clothes wouldn't be great if no one ever wore them.
It houses my spirit and all the essences of who I am. This body is great.
Our bodies deserve better.
For our health. For our families. For our children. For ourselves.
Looking forward to that illustrious day when happiness will radiate in our being fully with everything perfectly in place is the journey not the destination. My favorite quote wraps up this post in what should be the goal each and every day of life. Thanks for reading...
