Bodacious!: for the body conscious

Today I confess my undying love for cranberry juice! Just kidding, although it will tie into the story later.. I have to preface this post with a story. Yesterday I had the misfortune of one of the biggest banes of the female existence befalling me. I left work early to get a prescription (since they don't go away without it) & begged my wonderful husband to bring me cranberry juice. Lots and lots of cranberry juice! When the obnoxious wait in the doctors office was finally over I went back with the lovely nurse. I was hoping, given my long standing relationship with my doctor that I would be able to be put in a room and the process would go pretty quick from there. However, I was quickly guided toward another natural enemy of the female gender-- the scale. I tried to be a good sport and stood on the scale doing my very best not to look at the number being calculated. But, as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat, and I snuck a peek. A very scary 3 digit number appeared. Unfortunately enough for me it ended up being another 40 minutes in the room to ruminate on my new knowledge before the doctor would actually see me. I waited in the very sterile feeling room while the nice nurse I now ranked closely with Hitler for committing girl treason took my blood pressure. I mentioned that I was mortified that I had never weighed so much in my life!! She said that she could relate as her 8 month pregnant belly stuck out from under her scrubs. I felt less sympathy. At least she had something positive to look forward to put of her surplus 50lbs. 

As I sat, I thought. And the longer I thought the worse I felt. I certainly didn't compare to the beautiful girls covering the magazines in the waiting room. I was less than my ideal self, but didn't even compare to my high school body that I took for granted. During those high school years I picked apart every part of what reflected in the mirror. Sitting on the white body paper in the office I wished for that sophomore body back more than anything. 

Preface completed!

I've spent a lot of my life trying to compete with the more beautiful, the more talented, the more eloquent, elegant, etc. The older I've gotten the more I've grown tired to trying to compete with everyone-- including myself. Today I wanted to share my struggles in hopes of empowering others. You are not alone, & you are more than the number on the scale or the tag size on your jeans. Can't we all just accept our bodies for what they are?? My wonderful-beautiful mother-in-law said something genius on Sunday as we sat at her table with her. She said that when we stop looking at our bodies as OUR bodies, and we start looking at them for what they are--true miracles, it changes the way we look at ourselves. 

As a final thought I want to summarize an idea of another blog that I read today. A wonderful lady shared her sentiments on the same crisis of body image. She was newly married & was surprised to find that marriage did not fix her self esteem! She tried to work through them expecting that just more affirmation from her husband would certainly be the solution! Is it what she said at the end that I found the most profound. She said, "I realized there was only one man who could heal my heart. It wasn't my new husband. It was Jesus!" There is something deeply spiritual, no matter who you are, about being on this journey to inner contentment. I find it more prevalent among women, but I won't discredit our vets and other men who struggle to find their place in the world, and find their own peace. 

I guess what I'm getting at here is that  there isn't a one size fits all answer. And I don't have the answer! I just think life is so much more enjoyable when we stop looking and start experiencing.

Anyway, that's all I've got for today. 

Love, 

Kate